Friday, May 14, 2010

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com: Did you wash your hands? Well, did ya, punk?

Did you wash your hands? Well, did ya, punk?: "

Every day, you watch them, in horror: Those vile, germ-laden, nether-region-wiping creatures who don’t wash their hands after using the toilet. Confronting the offenders directly wouldn’t work, because, well, you’re passive-aggressive, and that’s just not how you roll. So what to do next?


Well, you could dazzle them with some accusatory statistics…


97% of females say they wash their hands...Only 75% really do...Did you wash your hands?


…or attempt to appeal to the altruists in the audience.


Interested in a community service opportunity??? Wash your hands! Do it for the rest of us! :)


And maybe try to lure in the sports fans with the promise of some fun trivia!


Question: What is the overall record of wins and losses for Georgia versus Florida in football? To find out the answer, please wash your hands!


If they see through that little scheme, you could try patronizing your patrons outright…


Employees MUST wash hands before returning to work.Patrons SHOULD wash hands before returning to their tables.


…or just straight-up treat them like four-year-olds. (“Did you wash your hands?” “Yes.” “DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?” “I said yes!!!”)


Did you wash your hands? DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?


Perhaps even a dash of reverse psychology?


Jimmy the Germ says: 1) TOUCH your nose, eyes and mouth OFTEN! 2) DON'T wash your hands with soap! 3) NEVER wash your hands for more than 30 seconds! 4) NEVER use Sanitizing Hand Gel! LET'S ALL HELP JIMMY SURVIVE!


Of course, those less-straightforward techniques just might just backfire on you. In that case, you could play the bully with THE CLIP ART THAT MUST BE STOPPED.


WASH THOSE HANDS!


Or, if your clip-art collection is a bit larger…release the dragon!


Excuse me but could you please wash your hands so I don't have to sanitize the germs with my fire.


Not scary enough? Maybe it’s time to bust out the F word.


Flu season is back!!!! Please wash your hands before leaving the bathroom. (Washing hands is optional off season.)


WASH YOUR HANDS! You could same someone's life, OR you could cause someone's death. Yes, that means you.


Or the even scarier F-word: FECAL-ORAL.


Why wash your hands? It's the #1 activity that can reduce disease transmission! It reduces the spread of colds, flu, and bacterial conjunctivitis (


And if that still doesn’t work? Well, I guess you’ll just have to flounce away, invest in some latex gloves, and vow to hold it ’til you get home.


Several people are complaining that People on this floor are using the restroom and they are NOT washing their hands. Dirty hands spread disease. Please wash your hands. If you don't believe in washing your hands, please refrain from touching the copier, the coffee pot, the ice machine, door handles, the elevator button....etc. Please respect others around you and wash your hands! Thank you


(Thanks to Jen in Houston, Jenni in Spokane, Marley in Pittsburgh, Lindsey in Memphis, Laura in Richmond, and the many anonymous submitters for their contributions.)


related: Five approaches to toilet paper maintenance


extra credit: “On Washing Hands,” by Atul Gawande







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